Sunday, November 29, 2009

I'm really only writing this because I haven't written anything in, a while.

I'm so overwhelmed.
I want to meet the standard which i always consistently fall flat on my face.
boys are stupid.
I miss the sunday afternoons at the playground.
I'm thirsty.
I really need to take behind the wheel already.
apparently I'm grounded?
God's not mad at me.
I really want to sell the new years aid t-shirts.
I'm exhausted.
I miss wauren.
lalalaaaa 50% off all outerwear, is stuck in my HEAD.
I hear hangers falling on the floor in my mind, over and over until I fall asleep.
college boys = no.
my lips are chapped.
I hate money some times.
I miss my friends.
school makes my stomach hurt.
oooh crrap.
IIIII love jesus.

I'm going to sleep now, at 8:57 pm.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Lauren Taylor Schlademan.

You're 17.
You're wonderful.
You're an AWESOME leader.
You're beautiful.
You're hilarious.
You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.

You're my best friend.

I love you.
Happy birthday.
<3

Monday, November 9, 2009

you hold me now

Yesterday, after playing at the playground with some awesome people, I went to frontline. I wasn't expecting anything to hit me, because I came in so late - funny how God does what he wants, WHEN he wants. I walked into the auditorium, and sat in a seat by myself. [the seats by my lovely friends were taken, and i didn't want to interrupt]

Todd philips started asking these questions :
1. have you ever given your biggest strength to God?
2. Have you given your biggest weakness/temptation to God?
3. Have you surrendered your most meaningful relationships to God?
4. Have you surrendered your most meaningful possession to God?
5. Have you handed your biggest dream to God?

all of those questions are wonderful, but the last one really struck a nerve.

i want to serve in missions for the rest of my life, more than ANYTHING. In doing that, I'm spreading God's Word, not my own. I want him to lead me. I want him to provide. I've been given a chance to prayerfully go to Costa Rica for 9 months when I'm 18, but money has been very tight lately. I was feeling very overwhelmed and stressed by the fact I need 7000+ dollars in two years, and I don't have a job. Last night, while we were praying, I handed my dream of missions over to him, where it should rightfully be.

this is how cool God is.

This morning I get a call from the manager of Old Navy. I submitted an application there over two months ago, and never heard back from them, so I thought it was a no-go. She said she reviewed my application and was very interested in hiring me. Tomorrow I'm going in to fill out all of my paper work and learn the ropes.

If thats not an answer to prayer, I don't know what is.



Thursday, November 5, 2009

May I never lose the wonder.

Refer to the end of the post, the word's in bold have definitions. It makes the verses completely come alive. I hope you enjoy it :]

He was despised[1] and rejected[2] by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with
suffering.[3]
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was
despised, and we esteemed[4] him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities [5]
and carried our
sorrows,[6]
yet we considered him
stricken[7] by God,
smitten[8] by him, and afflicted.[9]

But he was pierced[10] for our transgressions,
he was
crushed[11] for our iniquities[12];
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his
wounds[13] we are healed.


Isaiah 53:3-5


.

[1] despised :

tr.v. de·spised, de·spis·ing, de·spis·es

1. To regard with contempt or scorn: despised all cowards and flatterers.

2. To dislike intensely; loathe: despised the frigid weather in January.

3. To regard as unworthy of one's interest or concern: despised any thought of their own safety.


[2] rejected :

tr.v. re·ject·ed, re·ject·ing, re·jects

1. To refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of.

2. To refuse to consider or grant; deny.

3. To refuse to recognize or give affection to (a person).

4. To discard as defective or useless; throw away. See Synonyms at refuse1.

5. To spit out or vomit.

Medicine To resist immunologically the introduction of (a transplanted organ or tissue); fail to accept as part of one's own body.



[3] Suffering :


v. suf·fered, suf·fer·ing, suf·fers

v.intr.

1. To feel pain or distress; sustain loss, injury, harm, or punishment.

2. To tolerate or endure evil, injury, pain, or death. See Synonyms at bear1.

3. To appear at a disadvantage: "He suffers by comparison with his greater contemporary" (Albert C. Baugh).

v.tr.

1. To undergo or sustain (something painful, injurious, or unpleasant): "Ordinary men have always had to suffer the history their leaders were making" (Herbert J. Muller).

2. To experience; undergo: suffer a change in staff.

3. To endure or bear; stand: would not suffer fools.

To permit; allow: "They were not suffered to aspire to so exalted a position as that of streetcar conductor" (Edmund S. Morgan)




[4] esteemed :


vb (tr)

1. to have great respect or high regard for

2. Formal to judge or consider; deem to esteem an idea improper

n

1. high regard or respect; good opinion

Archaic judgment; opinion



[5] infirmities :


n. pl. in·fir·mi·ties

1. A bodily ailment or weakness, especially one brought on by old age.

2. Frailty; feebleness.

3. A condition or disease producing weakness.

4. A failing or defect in a person's character.


[6] sorrows :

n. 1. Mental suffering or pain caused by injury, loss, or despair. See Synonyms at regret.

2. A source or cause of sorrow; a misfortune.

3. Expression of sorrow; grieving.

intr.v. sor·rowed, sor·row·ing, sor·rows

To feel or express sorrow. See Synonyms at grieve.


[7] stricken :

v. struck or strick·en, strik·ing, strikes

1.

a. To hit sharply, as with the hand, the fist, or a weapon.

b. To inflict (a blow).

2. To penetrate or pierce: was struck in the leg by a bullet.

3.

a. To collide with or crash into: She struck the desk with her knee.

b. To cause to come into violent or forceful contact: She struck her knee against the desk.

c. To thrust (a weapon, for example) in or into someone or something: struck the sword into the dragon.

d. To damage or destroy, as by forceful contact: Lightning struck the tree.

4. To make a military attack on; assault.

5. To afflict suddenly, as with a disease or impairment: was stricken with cancer.

To cause to become by or as if by a blow: struck him dead.



[8] smitten :


vb smites, smiting, smote ; smitten, smit (mainly tr) Now archaic in most senses

1. to strike with a heavy blow or blows

2. to damage with or as if with blows

3. to afflict or affect severely smitten with flu

4. to afflict in order to punish

5. (intr; foll by on) to strike forcibly or abruptly the sun smote down on him

[Old English smītan; related to Old High German smīzan to smear, Gothic bismeitan, Old Swedish smēta to daub]


[9] afflicted :

tr.v. af·flict·ed, af·flict·ing, af·flicts

To inflict grievous physical or mental suffering on.


[Middle English afflighten, from afflight, disturbed, frightened, from Latin afflictum, past participle of afflgere, to cast down : , to strike.]


Synonyms: afflict, agonize, rack1, torment, torture

These verbs mean to bring great harm or suffering to someone: afflicted with arthritis; was agonized to see her suffering; racked with cancer; tormented by migraine headaches; tortured by painful memories


[10] pierced :

v. pierced, pierc·ing, pierc·es

v.tr.

1. To cut or pass through with or as if with a sharp instrument; stab or penetrate.

2. To make a hole or opening in; perforate.

3. To make a way through: The path pierced the wilderness.

To sound sharply through: His shout pierced the din.



[11] crushed :


crushed, crush·ing, crush·es

v.tr.

1. To press between opposing bodies so as to break or injure.

2. To break, pound, or grind (stone or ore, for example) into small fragments or powder.

3. To put down; subdue: crushed the rebellion.

4. To overwhelm or oppress severely: spirits that had been crushed by rejection and failure.

5. To crumple or rumple: crushed the freshly ironed shirt.

6. To hug, especially with great force.

7. To press upon, shove, or crowd.

8. To extract or obtain by pressing or squeezing: crush juice from a grape.

9. Archaic To drink; quaff.

v.intr.

1. To be or become crushed.

2. To proceed or move by crowding or pressing.

n.

1. The act of crushing; extreme pressure.

2. The state of being crushed.

A great crowd: a crush of spectators.



[12] iniquities :


n. pl. in·iq·ui·ties

1. Gross immorality or injustice; wickedness.

A grossly immoral act; a sin.



[13] wounds :

n.

1. An injury, especially one in which the skin or another external surface is torn, pierced, cut, or otherwise broken.

2. An injury to the feelings.

v. wound·ed, wound·ing, wounds

v.tr.

To inflict wounds or a wound on.

v.intr.

To inflict wounds or a wound: harsh criticism that wounds.





Read the verse again.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Because you stole my eyes and I've never looked back.

I don't think my heart could get any happier.
I've never felt so right in my whole life.
This is so refreshing.

I have absolutely the best friends in the whole wide world.
[and we're honoring God, :)]
I honestly couldn't ask for any more.

Over the series of about four months, I've met some amazing, absolutely Wonderful people. They are honestly the biggest, most obvious blessing I have at the moment. I have no idea how they became a part of my life, but goodness gracious I'm so glad they did. We are seeking God together, I've never had that before :) You guys make my heart smile, I love you.