'I've changed.'

The words 'you've changed,' Well I've heard them quite a few times over the last two years.

Today, while procrastinating school, I decided to read my own blog. Vain? possibly. I just was curious, looking back on those lovely memories and experiences. Well something really hit me, something has changed. Three weeks ago, if you told me that, I'd pull a '..what are you talking about?' But after reading over those previous posts, every single one came back to one thing : Christ. My heart was so intently in love with Him and only Him. Every day I woke up to Him! That was my priority. I never had a time in my life I had so much growth in so little time. I was awestruck. It was beautiful, and something I cherished.

But I just came to a realization : I might have changed, yes. But He hasn't. I don't have to look at those memories and say, 'oh that was just grand.' I can have that again if I just Get over myself. Goodness gracious I can't stand me sometimes. I'm holding Myself back. It makes me so angry, considering I have everything I could ever want, right?

I've got a Best friend that is absolutely amazing in every way shape and form.

I have an awesome job.

I'm finally on time with my school.

I go to church at least 2 times a week.

I could have a boyfriend If I wanted. [ew, cooties.]

I've got a great group of friends.

I've got a good family.

but

I've found the fourth reason has been my down fall. I've gotten SO comfortable at church, I really have made God just another friend, just another acquaintance. I HATE that. I could answer all your questions, I know the bible, I'm at church, I know how to worship,

but where am I? Lacey Dean, where am I with Christ? Am I in awe of His greatness, awe of how unchanging He is, WHO he is. Or have I forgotten.

I've found, I've forgotten. I've forgotten His greatness. I've forgetting His power. I've forgotten His love.

Winter camp 2010 : Hi, its nice to meet you. My Name is Jesus.

I'm falling in love with Him again, all over again.

"My heart is dry but still I'm singing, Reign Down."

I want that to be my life. I want to see Him more than anything in this whole wide world. I just want to be With HIM. UGH. [I literally just said Ugh, hence me writing it, haha.] I miss My Daddy, I miss His love. I miss His Fire. I miss surrender. I miss His smile.

I miss HIM.

This is a new beginning.

I will remain faithful and true.

I want that to be to YOU.

Trust.

My view : I don't know about you, but Trust can be a real challenge some times. I mean, we trust cars, buildings, people, plus a million other things every day, right? We trust them to do their jobs - to Work. If we trust them so easily, why in the world do we find it so hard to trust Christ? I mean, He created the whole world we trust to not fall into the universe, to stay in place, every day. He created our bodies we expect to work. He created me, Lacey Dean. But yet we somehow think we know better for ourselves. "I'm fine without God. I've made it this far." Oh really? Considering every thing you do in your daily life, the air you breathe, is a gift from God, because HE knew we'd need it? Why do we find it so strenuous to Let Go?

God's Truth :

And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

—Psalm 9:10

In you our fathers trusted;
they trusted, and you delivered them.
To you they cried and were rescued;
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

—Psalm 22:4-5

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.

—Psalm 37:3-6

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.

Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge—
no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

—Psalm 91

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.
What can man do to me?
The Lord is on my side as my helper;
I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.

It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in princes.

—Psalm 118:6-9

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

—Proverbs 3:5-6

The fear of man lays a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.

—Proverbs 29:25

You will say in that day:
“I will give thanks to you, O Lord,
for though you were angry with me,
your anger turned away,
that you might comfort me.

“Behold God is my salvation;
I will trust, and will not be afraid;
for the Lord God is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation.”

—Isaiah 12:1-2

You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

—Isaiah 26:3-4

What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithlessness nullify the faithfulness of God? By no means! Let God be true though every one were a liar, as it is written,

“That you may be justified in your words,
and prevail when you are judged.”

—Romans 3:3-4

Why are we So stubborn some times.

one of many : appearance.

I got a new bible.

I love love love it.

basically, these posts are just my feelings, the things I think on a regular basis, and taking Every single thought captive in Christ.

Appearance :

My view : That seems to be a real pain in the butt recently. All of my friends are absolutely stunning. I can't stand it sometimes, haha. Its something I need to personally work on, but when I get a notification from facebook saying 'you've been tagged in 13 photos', well it frightens me.

God's Truth :

1 Samuel 16:7

But the Lord said to Samuel, Look not on his appearance or at the height of his stature, for I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

Proverbs 31:30

Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!

James 1:23

For if anyone only listens to the Word without obeying it and being a doer of it, he is like a man who looks carefully at his [own] natural face in a mirror;

Psalm 139:13-17

For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb.

I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.

My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery].

Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.

How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

OHMYGOODNESS

WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP

WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP

WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP

WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP

WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP

WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP WINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMPWINTERCAMP.

I'm a little excited.. don't judge.

Valentines day.

you suck.

but Jesus is my valentine.

BAM.

Things on my mind at 2:53am.

Redhots.

ITS UNDERWATER. What. the heck.

My irish shasta cola mug sitting next to me.

Considering I am a creep, and was just talking to Reed, I guess you could say Reed? haha, If you see this, you know you're a creep too, you've admitted it.

I'm craving Jesus - Bad.

You don't love me. Don't use it so lightly. If only you knew what Love really meant.

I MISS LAUREN OHMYGOSH.

I'm really getting sick of snow.

Wintercamp.

I really need to go to sleep.

Blogger, I wish you were the discovery channel.

*claps hands* ..its like they were MADE FOR THIS.

I haven't gotten a good yummy hug in a while. Hm, withdraw.

Alexis Ramirez. Hey, I miss her, alright?

I need to pick a date for my wedding. Thinking May?

Who needs a monkey in the middle when you have a moppy headed greek.

My butt hurts from sitting in this chair.

hmm.. Autotrader.*

I need to sleep.

* http://www.autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?ct=u&car_id=273329481&dealer_id=54027481&car_year=2002&rdm=1265789505194&lastStartYear=1981&model=&num_records=25&systime=&make3=&make2=HONDA&highlightFirstMakeModel=&start_year=1993&keywordsfyc=&keywordsrep=&engine=&certified=&body_code=27&fuel=&awsp=false&search_type=both&distance=100&marketZipError=false&model2=&search_lang=en&showZipError=n&make=JEEP&keywords_display=&color=&scarid=273862049&page_location=findacar%3A%3Aispsearchform&min_price=1000&body_style=CONVERT&body_style=SUV&body_style=COUPE&body_style=SEDAN&drive=&default_sort=priceDESC&seller_type=b&max_mileage=&style_flag=2&sort_type=priceDESC&address=22101&advanced=&end_year=2011&doors=&transmission=&max_price=8000&cardist=57&standard=false&rdpage=thumb