'I've changed.'

The words 'you've changed,' Well I've heard them quite a few times over the last two years.

Today, while procrastinating school, I decided to read my own blog. Vain? possibly. I just was curious, looking back on those lovely memories and experiences. Well something really hit me, something has changed. Three weeks ago, if you told me that, I'd pull a '..what are you talking about?' But after reading over those previous posts, every single one came back to one thing : Christ. My heart was so intently in love with Him and only Him. Every day I woke up to Him! That was my priority. I never had a time in my life I had so much growth in so little time. I was awestruck. It was beautiful, and something I cherished.

But I just came to a realization : I might have changed, yes. But He hasn't. I don't have to look at those memories and say, 'oh that was just grand.' I can have that again if I just Get over myself. Goodness gracious I can't stand me sometimes. I'm holding Myself back. It makes me so angry, considering I have everything I could ever want, right?

I've got a Best friend that is absolutely amazing in every way shape and form.

I have an awesome job.

I'm finally on time with my school.

I go to church at least 2 times a week.

I could have a boyfriend If I wanted. [ew, cooties.]

I've got a great group of friends.

I've got a good family.

but

I've found the fourth reason has been my down fall. I've gotten SO comfortable at church, I really have made God just another friend, just another acquaintance. I HATE that. I could answer all your questions, I know the bible, I'm at church, I know how to worship,

but where am I? Lacey Dean, where am I with Christ? Am I in awe of His greatness, awe of how unchanging He is, WHO he is. Or have I forgotten.

I've found, I've forgotten. I've forgotten His greatness. I've forgetting His power. I've forgotten His love.

Winter camp 2010 : Hi, its nice to meet you. My Name is Jesus.

I'm falling in love with Him again, all over again.

"My heart is dry but still I'm singing, Reign Down."

I want that to be my life. I want to see Him more than anything in this whole wide world. I just want to be With HIM. UGH. [I literally just said Ugh, hence me writing it, haha.] I miss My Daddy, I miss His love. I miss His Fire. I miss surrender. I miss His smile.

I miss HIM.

This is a new beginning.

I will remain faithful and true.

I want that to be to YOU.