Como agradeceré
Todas las cosas
Que has hecho por mí
Cosas inmerecidas
Que diste para mostrar Tu amor por mí
Las voce de un millon de ángeles
No expresáran mi gratitud
Lo que soy y lo que anhelo ser
Lo debo todo a Ti
A Dios sea la gloria
A Dios sea la gloria
A Dios sea la gloria
Por lo que hizo por mí
Con Su sangre me ha limpiado
Su poder me ha salvado
A Dios sea la gloria
Por lo que hizo por mí
Quiero vivir Señor
Rendida siempre sólo a Ti
Pongo a tus pies
Lo que soy
Porque diste todo Señor por mí
Con Su sangre me ha limpiado
Su poder me ha salvado
A Dios sea la gloria
Por lo que hizo por mí
Sea la gloria y la honra
Y el poder por siempre.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
This was the moment.
Lying on my bed looking at my growing picture wall, I saw a picture that has always been one close to my heart. This sweet little girl was an orphan at Sonia's orphanage in La Romana, Dominican Republic. It was my first trip to the DR, and the last time, to this day, that I've seen her.
She changed my life in more ways than she will ever understand. She told me a little of her story, I didn't speak much Spanish at the time but I tried. She told me she didn't have friends and she didn't want to make friends because "people leave." She was very standoffish and skeptical of everything and everyone. Instead of running up to the door when the american group came, she stayed back, watching, but always distant. For that very reason, she caught my attention and I approached her. After a little time of convincing with some with ice cream, she started opening up to me.
This moment is burned into my memory forever - the second day. She wasn't feeling well, so she clung to me and fell asleep in my arms. Towards the end of the afternoon, Cory told us we needed to get ready to go, pack up what we were doing and head out. My heart broke. I sat there crying, praying, and crying more but trying not to wake her up. But to my surprise when I looked down, I saw tears on her little face as well. She knew exactly what was going on, what that meant. I will never forget that moment. I didn't want to be another person that leaves. I didn't want to be another person that isn't in her life. And that was the first clear moment I knew I wanted to pursue missions as more than just a week in the summer time. But for life.
To this day, putting her down and walking away was one of the hardest things I've ever done. That image of her standing behind me, hands on her face, just crying, I will never forget.
"This is why." I heard a little voice yell. "This is why. People LEAVE."
My heart shattered. I promised her I would come back, that I loved her and I would see her again whether on this side of heaven or not.
There is no other place I'd rather be. There is no other work I'd rather do. When I'm there, I don't want to leave. When I'm here, I just want to go back. I want to be someone that's in their lives when they need it, during those hard times and those hurts when they have no one. Help point them back to the only Faithful friend there is, the one that will never leave or hurt them. Because I, on the other hand, am a sinner, a very talented sinner. I am so far from perfect. But my imperfections exalt and magnify the grace that I've received so undeservingly. My heart wants be a blessing to them, an encouragement and to just love them as the Lord has loved me.
Homesick, Lord.
"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, 'It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.'" (Revelation 21:3-6 ESV)
She changed my life in more ways than she will ever understand. She told me a little of her story, I didn't speak much Spanish at the time but I tried. She told me she didn't have friends and she didn't want to make friends because "people leave." She was very standoffish and skeptical of everything and everyone. Instead of running up to the door when the american group came, she stayed back, watching, but always distant. For that very reason, she caught my attention and I approached her. After a little time of convincing with some with ice cream, she started opening up to me.
This moment is burned into my memory forever - the second day. She wasn't feeling well, so she clung to me and fell asleep in my arms. Towards the end of the afternoon, Cory told us we needed to get ready to go, pack up what we were doing and head out. My heart broke. I sat there crying, praying, and crying more but trying not to wake her up. But to my surprise when I looked down, I saw tears on her little face as well. She knew exactly what was going on, what that meant. I will never forget that moment. I didn't want to be another person that leaves. I didn't want to be another person that isn't in her life. And that was the first clear moment I knew I wanted to pursue missions as more than just a week in the summer time. But for life.
To this day, putting her down and walking away was one of the hardest things I've ever done. That image of her standing behind me, hands on her face, just crying, I will never forget.
"This is why." I heard a little voice yell. "This is why. People LEAVE."
My heart shattered. I promised her I would come back, that I loved her and I would see her again whether on this side of heaven or not.
There is no other place I'd rather be. There is no other work I'd rather do. When I'm there, I don't want to leave. When I'm here, I just want to go back. I want to be someone that's in their lives when they need it, during those hard times and those hurts when they have no one. Help point them back to the only Faithful friend there is, the one that will never leave or hurt them. Because I, on the other hand, am a sinner, a very talented sinner. I am so far from perfect. But my imperfections exalt and magnify the grace that I've received so undeservingly. My heart wants be a blessing to them, an encouragement and to just love them as the Lord has loved me.
Homesick, Lord.
"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, 'It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.'" (Revelation 21:3-6 ESV)
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
God is huge.
He has a huge plan.
I had to leave the DR a little earlier than expected - it was really really hard to leave the work I want to do for the rest of my life, the people I love, and go back into a place (northern va) that is toxic for me. I have every bad influence ready and waiting for me.
But, I prayed and prayed and said lord I know you have a plan, I trust you. Everything has a purpose, I trust you. If I had not come home early, I would have never been able to share the gospel with a good friend of mine, a friend I used to go clubbing with all the time. If I didn't come home early I would have never met up with an old friend who I haven't seen in years and start a bible study, encourage her in the lord. If I had not come home, I would have never been able to work with casa juvenil, which was the most impacting week of my life. I would have never met those people. And I have never felt more at home in a ministry, so right. If I had not come home early, I would have never gotten to share the gospel with a crying girl in NYC at 2:30 am. If I had not come home, I would have never been able to help my family, or my sister in things going on in her life.
God is GOOD. God is MOVING. I'm so grateful.
He has a huge plan.
I had to leave the DR a little earlier than expected - it was really really hard to leave the work I want to do for the rest of my life, the people I love, and go back into a place (northern va) that is toxic for me. I have every bad influence ready and waiting for me.
But, I prayed and prayed and said lord I know you have a plan, I trust you. Everything has a purpose, I trust you. If I had not come home early, I would have never been able to share the gospel with a good friend of mine, a friend I used to go clubbing with all the time. If I didn't come home early I would have never met up with an old friend who I haven't seen in years and start a bible study, encourage her in the lord. If I had not come home, I would have never been able to work with casa juvenil, which was the most impacting week of my life. I would have never met those people. And I have never felt more at home in a ministry, so right. If I had not come home early, I would have never gotten to share the gospel with a crying girl in NYC at 2:30 am. If I had not come home, I would have never been able to help my family, or my sister in things going on in her life.
God is GOOD. God is MOVING. I'm so grateful.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Train station
I'm currently at a train station in new York waiting for my train. Well let's tell a little story.. I was supposed to be in a hotel in NYC tonight but decided to take a train early at 3am so I didn't have to pay for the hotel. So God had a great purpose in me waiting at the train station tonight.
So I was sitting with Caesar (husband of one of the Dominican women I've been working with this last week) I saw this beautiful girl come in crying her eyes out. So of course, I asked Caesar to give me a minute and I felt like I needed to talk to her.
So I went over, asked her if she was okay and she said yes - so I asked her if I could pray for her - wouldn't hurt anyone and I would really like to. So we prayed, she was crying, clearly really upset. We were Talking about how much the Lord loves her, how much He could use this to better her, that He never said it was easy but that He would walk with us and love us fearlessly along the way. That's where the peace is, and it's a joy like none other.
So after, I really didn't want to pry into her life and ask all these questions - none my business. But I just wanted to make sure she felt cared for and safe, like the Lord cares for her and wants to keep her safe. So after talking to her for a little bit, I got to share a little bit about my last few years. About how I was doing everything the World says is great and fun and was SO unhappy and empty. But that the Lord came into my life in a way so real to me, and showed me how much He loves me personally. That it used to be works, rules to me. But That he used everything in my last for where I'm supposed to be now. Well we talked, and she completely understood. She kept thanking me saying I was such a good person and I assured her (what I felt like 10 times because I know I'm not haha) that there's NOTHING good in me. The reasons I'm writing this is because I don't want to forget this conversation so I can pray for her too.
But she had to go, she has my number and name - God is GOOD! if I was in the hotel like I was supposed to be, I would have never gotten to talk to her and share how much the Lord adores her. Pray for her?
So I was sitting with Caesar (husband of one of the Dominican women I've been working with this last week) I saw this beautiful girl come in crying her eyes out. So of course, I asked Caesar to give me a minute and I felt like I needed to talk to her.
So I went over, asked her if she was okay and she said yes - so I asked her if I could pray for her - wouldn't hurt anyone and I would really like to. So we prayed, she was crying, clearly really upset. We were Talking about how much the Lord loves her, how much He could use this to better her, that He never said it was easy but that He would walk with us and love us fearlessly along the way. That's where the peace is, and it's a joy like none other.
So after, I really didn't want to pry into her life and ask all these questions - none my business. But I just wanted to make sure she felt cared for and safe, like the Lord cares for her and wants to keep her safe. So after talking to her for a little bit, I got to share a little bit about my last few years. About how I was doing everything the World says is great and fun and was SO unhappy and empty. But that the Lord came into my life in a way so real to me, and showed me how much He loves me personally. That it used to be works, rules to me. But That he used everything in my last for where I'm supposed to be now. Well we talked, and she completely understood. She kept thanking me saying I was such a good person and I assured her (what I felt like 10 times because I know I'm not haha) that there's NOTHING good in me. The reasons I'm writing this is because I don't want to forget this conversation so I can pray for her too.
But she had to go, she has my number and name - God is GOOD! if I was in the hotel like I was supposed to be, I would have never gotten to talk to her and share how much the Lord adores her. Pray for her?
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The little girls in the house where I'm staying are the sweetest blessings.
I went down stairs, and they had folded all my clothes and made my bed. It just made my night.
The little girl marinel talked to Jonathan and Gerald (president and vice president of casa juvenil) and basically told him "did you know carolina is coming to santo domingo to work with casa juvenil!" hahah. Apparently I'm going! I was sharing my heart with Jonathan and were all praying that If the lord opens the door, well I'll be on the next plane. The Dominican republic is my home. God is good.
I went down stairs, and they had folded all my clothes and made my bed. It just made my night.
The little girl marinel talked to Jonathan and Gerald (president and vice president of casa juvenil) and basically told him "did you know carolina is coming to santo domingo to work with casa juvenil!" hahah. Apparently I'm going! I was sharing my heart with Jonathan and were all praying that If the lord opens the door, well I'll be on the next plane. The Dominican republic is my home. God is good.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Oh my Gooooodness god is good! I'm in physical pain from smiling so much, hahaha. My face is sore!
God has me here for every single one of those kids from casa juvenil. They have blessed my life more than I can describe, working every day with them, God knows my heart and brought them to me! Haha.
Today we went to a church in Maryland where they did an INCREDIBLE service. The spirit was moving in those kids to the point they were passing out (spiritually) on stage. I had never seen anything like it in real life. 5 people received Christ!!! God is so good. So good. I'm the only translator they have most of the time, and I'm staying in the Host house with 11 Dominican girls. It's been a life changing experience.
God has me here for every single one of those kids from casa juvenil. They have blessed my life more than I can describe, working every day with them, God knows my heart and brought them to me! Haha.
Today we went to a church in Maryland where they did an INCREDIBLE service. The spirit was moving in those kids to the point they were passing out (spiritually) on stage. I had never seen anything like it in real life. 5 people received Christ!!! God is so good. So good. I'm the only translator they have most of the time, and I'm staying in the Host house with 11 Dominican girls. It's been a life changing experience.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
The grand weaver
Only if you are willing to pray sincerely for God’s will to be done and are willing to live the life apportioned to you will you see the breathtaking view of God that He wants you to have, through the windows He has placed in your life. A heart in close communion with God helps carry you through the pain, beyond the power of mere words.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried
and chosen you in the furnace of affliction. For My own sake, for My own sake, I do it [I refrain and do
not utterly destroy you]; for why should I permit My name to be polluted and profaned [which it would be if the Lord completely
destroyed His chosen people]? And I will not give My glory to another [by permitting
the worshipers of idols to triumph over you]. Listen to Me, O Jacob, and Israel, My called [ones]: I am He;
I am the First, I also am the Last. Yes, My hand has laid the foundation of the earth, and My
right hand has spread out the heavens; when I call to them, they stand forth
together [to execute My decrees]. Come near to me and listen to this: I have not spoken in
secret from the beginning; from the time that it happened, I was there. And now the
Lord God has sent His Spirit in and with me. (Isaiah 48:10-13, 16 AMP)
and chosen you in the furnace of affliction. For My own sake, for My own sake, I do it [I refrain and do
not utterly destroy you]; for why should I permit My name to be polluted and profaned [which it would be if the Lord completely
destroyed His chosen people]? And I will not give My glory to another [by permitting
the worshipers of idols to triumph over you]. Listen to Me, O Jacob, and Israel, My called [ones]: I am He;
I am the First, I also am the Last. Yes, My hand has laid the foundation of the earth, and My
right hand has spread out the heavens; when I call to them, they stand forth
together [to execute My decrees]. Come near to me and listen to this: I have not spoken in
secret from the beginning; from the time that it happened, I was there. And now the
Lord God has sent His Spirit in and with me. (Isaiah 48:10-13, 16 AMP)
Monday, July 9, 2012
We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
2 Corinthians 6:3-10
2 Corinthians 6:3-10
Friday, July 6, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Catalina de Bani
We went back to Catalina de bani today, I really do enjoy it there.
I was feeling really dehydrated this morning, so I slept on the bus and continued to a small village that afternoon. There were these two little boys, one of which named Wilson, I was playing with through the bus window. During the service at the church, I noticed three year old Wilson falling asleep standing up. He came over and sat on my lap and slept for a good 30 minutes if not more until we left.
I just adore this country, this gospel and these kids.
I was feeling really dehydrated this morning, so I slept on the bus and continued to a small village that afternoon. There were these two little boys, one of which named Wilson, I was playing with through the bus window. During the service at the church, I noticed three year old Wilson falling asleep standing up. He came over and sat on my lap and slept for a good 30 minutes if not more until we left.
I just adore this country, this gospel and these kids.
Obedience.
The last few days have been so bittersweet.
Yesterday at Catalina de Bani I met a girl EXACTLY like me. To the tee. Were even reading the same book at the same time. She feels exactly the same about missions, people, the US and Spanish. It was so awesome to hear the same desires coming from someone else. So I guess I'm not crazy!
Last night, on the other hand, hurt a little bit. I'm really praying about direction in the area of missions, I'm becoming so attached to people and this life, to the point i've had nightmares every night about somehow leaving early, being trapped in the US, etc. I wake up in a panic all the time. I don't know how i can go back 'home'.
I'm broken over a few things, to be honest. I need direction and clarity, please please pray that I seek God first and everyone else second. My heart is fickle and changes constantly. I need the Lord, period. All I want is to know Him more, live for Him now. I've spent too much for my life confused, lost, hurt, and ultimately unhappy. There is NOTHING good in this world that lasts or satisfies. Yeah, fun for a bit, but Absolutely nothing compares.
I want Him and only Him. Show me your glory.
Yesterday at Catalina de Bani I met a girl EXACTLY like me. To the tee. Were even reading the same book at the same time. She feels exactly the same about missions, people, the US and Spanish. It was so awesome to hear the same desires coming from someone else. So I guess I'm not crazy!
Last night, on the other hand, hurt a little bit. I'm really praying about direction in the area of missions, I'm becoming so attached to people and this life, to the point i've had nightmares every night about somehow leaving early, being trapped in the US, etc. I wake up in a panic all the time. I don't know how i can go back 'home'.
I'm broken over a few things, to be honest. I need direction and clarity, please please pray that I seek God first and everyone else second. My heart is fickle and changes constantly. I need the Lord, period. All I want is to know Him more, live for Him now. I've spent too much for my life confused, lost, hurt, and ultimately unhappy. There is NOTHING good in this world that lasts or satisfies. Yeah, fun for a bit, but Absolutely nothing compares.
I want Him and only Him. Show me your glory.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Nothing is wasted. Nothing is wasted.
Nothing. Is. Wasted In God's plan.
I'm praying for eyes to see good in everything that comes my way. Spiritual warfare is strong, and a life of missions is not easy. But man, it's worth it. Two kids accepted Christ yesterday, I had an incredible talk with a girl named Antonia today. God is working.
His glory, Always and forever.
Nothing. Is. Wasted In God's plan.
I'm praying for eyes to see good in everything that comes my way. Spiritual warfare is strong, and a life of missions is not easy. But man, it's worth it. Two kids accepted Christ yesterday, I had an incredible talk with a girl named Antonia today. God is working.
His glory, Always and forever.
Patience.
The lord is teaching me patience, without a shadow of a doubt. My week has been a tad frustrating. But he will work.
In all that has happened to us, you have remained righteous; you have acted faithfully, while we acted wickedly. (Nehemiah 9:33 NIV)
In all that has happened to us, you have remained righteous; you have acted faithfully, while we acted wickedly. (Nehemiah 9:33 NIV)
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Giddy
I feel giddy, I feel like I'm in love. And you know what? It's so much more than an emotional thing. I'm so genuinely happy. I'm so content. God is so good. And the people here are just incredible.
I love the lord. I never quite knew you could love someone this much, He is so good. AHHH. I'm almost frustrated that I can't put It accurately into words. But I love my savior, and I so desperately long that others can experience this too. :)
I love the lord. I never quite knew you could love someone this much, He is so good. AHHH. I'm almost frustrated that I can't put It accurately into words. But I love my savior, and I so desperately long that others can experience this too. :)
Friday, June 15, 2012
Emanuel house
Today has been one of the longest days I've had thus far in life. Almost 24 hours later, oh boy.
This morning I woke up and took my lovely group to the airport, at 3:30am. By the time we got back to score, it was around 5:15 and I had to meet with a pastor named Aby at 6, so I figured if I went to sleep for 45 minutes, likelihood would be that I wouldn't wake up, period. Haha. Turne out Aby's apartment gate was locked, I didn't meet with him, but I spent some incredible time with the Lord.
It was incredible, complete solitude (with is unheard of here) in the dark, reading the truth. My heart just thirsted for the gospel and it was well worth the lack of sleep.
At 7, we were off to san pedro. Today at the daycare, they were doing the last day of a class for the teachers and staff to learn how to better encourage the kids, love them, and let them be kids. It was an INCREDIBLE class, I learned so much. I have the Manuel and can't wait to read it in more detail.
My day, other than that, was playing with beautiful children. A little girl was playing with my hair, rain inside, come back out with perfume on her hands and put it in my hair. It reminded me of the parable of the woman washing Jesus' feet with expensive perfume. (which I read this morning, mind you.) it almost brought me to tears, seeing her humbleness and love, it blew me away.
I played with my coco-loco aka wilmore, my little boy who I absolutely adore. He's attached to my hip, it's going to make leaving in august SO hard. And my beautiful Ellie who I've known the last three years. It's been such a great experience to see them grow and learn. They just make me so happy.
God is good, when there's NOTHING good in me. I was reminded of that today: He's worthy.
Keep me in your prayers, I need them!
This morning I woke up and took my lovely group to the airport, at 3:30am. By the time we got back to score, it was around 5:15 and I had to meet with a pastor named Aby at 6, so I figured if I went to sleep for 45 minutes, likelihood would be that I wouldn't wake up, period. Haha. Turne out Aby's apartment gate was locked, I didn't meet with him, but I spent some incredible time with the Lord.
It was incredible, complete solitude (with is unheard of here) in the dark, reading the truth. My heart just thirsted for the gospel and it was well worth the lack of sleep.
At 7, we were off to san pedro. Today at the daycare, they were doing the last day of a class for the teachers and staff to learn how to better encourage the kids, love them, and let them be kids. It was an INCREDIBLE class, I learned so much. I have the Manuel and can't wait to read it in more detail.
My day, other than that, was playing with beautiful children. A little girl was playing with my hair, rain inside, come back out with perfume on her hands and put it in my hair. It reminded me of the parable of the woman washing Jesus' feet with expensive perfume. (which I read this morning, mind you.) it almost brought me to tears, seeing her humbleness and love, it blew me away.
I played with my coco-loco aka wilmore, my little boy who I absolutely adore. He's attached to my hip, it's going to make leaving in august SO hard. And my beautiful Ellie who I've known the last three years. It's been such a great experience to see them grow and learn. They just make me so happy.
God is good, when there's NOTHING good in me. I was reminded of that today: He's worthy.
Keep me in your prayers, I need them!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Strep Throat and secret Peanut allergy
Over the course of the last few days, I've been ridiculously sick with no wifi. So I apologize for being MIA.
Today's post is short and sweet. This is my Wilmore. I love him, he's been such a little light to me. The other day, I told him he couldn't leave unless he gave me 100 kisses to-go to last me until the next time I saw him. He just giggled and giggled and proceeded to say "This crazy american hahahaha" in spanish. Kid cracks me up.
It breaks my heart to know incredible kids like this live in the conditions that they do. Never knowing when the next meal is, their sheet medal houses that really don't do much to protect them. They're sick, a lot of them with extreme malnutrition. I just hate seeing them in that environment. But spiritually they're being poured into every day by incredible people like the daycare workers who just love the lord. Then and only then, they're happy.
Incredible.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Sigueme.
Woke up bright and early today, and headed over to Villa Espana, a Church Pastor Abby leads. Such an incredible man and family with beautiful hearts.
The service was talking about the passage when Jesus looked at the man, simply said follow me, and the man dropped everything to follow Christ, Family, clothes, money, whatever he had. He simply got up, obeyed, and looked forward.
We, as Christians, are going to feel uncomfortable. If we don't, we're not doing something right. We are going to lose friends, family even. But following and looking back bitterly at what we're leaving, well you might as well never have followed in the first place.
This message hit me today. I've forgotten that God is so much more than the people in my life. He is worth it. We will be judged, we will have critics, we could even be hated for the message we share.But what is more important, that friend, or the Creator, the King.
After church, we went to a place next door called Josiah's house. Its a home for boys without parents, where they can live with a family there until they turn 18 years old. They're a very new, small group of people from the US with incredible loving hearts for these kids. I got the opportunity to be the translator with a new candidate to act as the parents. We all talked for about 2 hours, then went back home, the family cooked us an Argentinian BBQ. :) There's a missionary family from Argentina here that I've been getting close to. They have such sincere hearts. I just adore them,
This is my Lucy, mi hermanita :)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Pure Joy.
This morning we woke up, ate breakfast, spent a little time with the other interns, then by 7:30am we were off! We went to Villa Espana - a church about 20 minutes from Juan Dolio. (Where we live.)
Today was the graduation ceremony for the bible students at the church! The classes go anywhere from 1 year to 4. The first year graduates were so small, even 6 years old. They commit every Saturday to coming and studying the word of God. Pretty devoted, if you ask me.
This is the lovely little church.
They had an incredible message by Pastor Abby. He made a point that really pierced my heart.
"God didn't save you so you could be Happy. God saved you so you could be HOLY. Different. Set apart."
Afterwards, we had a children's program where we had juice, cookies, clowns, balloons, games, all that Jazz. Its so encouraging to see people like this. I met a wonderful family from Argentina today. Their daughter is teaching me the Argentinian accent so she can call me her sister with no shame :) I'm spending the day with them tomorrow as well, I can't wait.
I love these kids more than I can describe.
My beautiful "hermanita" de Argentina :)
I realized a ton of things the last two days - First; I'm so grateful for my Spanish. I'm in heaven. Second; to forgive. I really struggle with forgiving myself, the things that have happened. Even recently. If you were to ask most of my coworkers, most, if not all, would have no idea I am a Christian. That breaks my heart. I've been all over the place the last two years and I've destroyed my witness in my own mind. But with God, nothing is wasted. I am on this earth to share Christ. Period. Show His love, His salvation, and Himself to others. Period. Its not about being happy, having fun. My life is gladly His. There is no completion outside of Him, no joy, no peace. But man, when you're walking with Him, there is nothing like it.
I never want to leave this place. I feel so at peace here, this is what I'm supposed to do. I've never been happier. God is so good.
Today was the graduation ceremony for the bible students at the church! The classes go anywhere from 1 year to 4. The first year graduates were so small, even 6 years old. They commit every Saturday to coming and studying the word of God. Pretty devoted, if you ask me.
This is what real men look like. Such incredible influences, awesome hearts, and they just adore the Lord.
They had an incredible message by Pastor Abby. He made a point that really pierced my heart.
"God didn't save you so you could be Happy. God saved you so you could be HOLY. Different. Set apart."
Afterwards, we had a children's program where we had juice, cookies, clowns, balloons, games, all that Jazz. Its so encouraging to see people like this. I met a wonderful family from Argentina today. Their daughter is teaching me the Argentinian accent so she can call me her sister with no shame :) I'm spending the day with them tomorrow as well, I can't wait.
I realized a ton of things the last two days - First; I'm so grateful for my Spanish. I'm in heaven. Second; to forgive. I really struggle with forgiving myself, the things that have happened. Even recently. If you were to ask most of my coworkers, most, if not all, would have no idea I am a Christian. That breaks my heart. I've been all over the place the last two years and I've destroyed my witness in my own mind. But with God, nothing is wasted. I am on this earth to share Christ. Period. Show His love, His salvation, and Himself to others. Period. Its not about being happy, having fun. My life is gladly His. There is no completion outside of Him, no joy, no peace. But man, when you're walking with Him, there is nothing like it.
I never want to leave this place. I feel so at peace here, this is what I'm supposed to do. I've never been happier. God is so good.
Friday, June 1, 2012
My new home
I was welcomed at the airport by three of the sweetest people. Ryan, Miss Margaret and one of the interns. The first thing that happened was the female intern running up to me and giving me this biggest hug. I felt so welcomed.
I have wifi! Wooohoo. Hopefully I'll be writing a blog post every day. Today has been a very relaxing, get to know people kind of day. Its so much to take in, but everyone has been nothing but friendly. I'm the longest intern here, everyone I'm living with now leaves in a week, which makes me kind of sad especially because I've met two people I adore.
Bienvenidos a mi casita :)
I've been hearing a lot about taranchula's over the last few hours.. not sure if I'm too excited about that one. Let alone the fact I'll be living alone for a little while. But its a precious little apartment with a little kitchen and bathroom. I do have the top bunk-bed with no rails.. I've got a gaping fear that I will roll off in my sleep and die.
Its finally hitting me that I'm going to be gone for quite some time. I have internet, which I'm thankful for, so I can keep in contact a little bit. I'm nervous, but I can't wait to see what the Lord has for this trip. The people are incredible so far, tomorrow we're going out and traveling with a High school ministry then hanging out with the kids. I cant wait.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
1:33
Guys guys guys guys.
It's 1:33 am, I'm so awake and way too excited. In t-minus 5 hours I'll be at the airport. On a plane. On my way to live in the Dominican republic.
IS THIS MY LIFE.
Ive been all over the place over the last few years. But nothing has changed - this will always be my heart. I love my Jesus, and Im in awe of the way he loves me. I'm nervous to be going 'alone', but I've never been alone. God is so good, God is so great. If you don't know him, dude. Dude. Get to. He's the BOMB.
So grateful, so nervous, so excited!
It's 1:33 am, I'm so awake and way too excited. In t-minus 5 hours I'll be at the airport. On a plane. On my way to live in the Dominican republic.
IS THIS MY LIFE.
Ive been all over the place over the last few years. But nothing has changed - this will always be my heart. I love my Jesus, and Im in awe of the way he loves me. I'm nervous to be going 'alone', but I've never been alone. God is so good, God is so great. If you don't know him, dude. Dude. Get to. He's the BOMB.
So grateful, so nervous, so excited!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
In 30 hours.
In 30 hours, I will be boarding a plane and leaving every material comfort I've become so familiar with. In uncertain, uncomfortable situations and there is no other place id rather be.
One of my biggest fears in going to the Dominican republic isn't leaving the USA, it's not wanting to come back. My heart isn't in this country, it never has been. My heart is where they are. Playing in the dirt with the poorest of the poor, the kindest most incredible children and families in the world. I would give my life for this, and for them.
I can not wait to see what's in store. God is great, I am so blessed. He's walking hand in hand with me - no fear.
Let Your love define us.
One of my biggest fears in going to the Dominican republic isn't leaving the USA, it's not wanting to come back. My heart isn't in this country, it never has been. My heart is where they are. Playing in the dirt with the poorest of the poor, the kindest most incredible children and families in the world. I would give my life for this, and for them.
I can not wait to see what's in store. God is great, I am so blessed. He's walking hand in hand with me - no fear.
Let Your love define us.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Shaaaaakkin
I'm leaving the the Dominican republic Friday morning.
I'm still in shock, to be honest. It hasn't kicked in. I'm going to be in the Dominican republic this time next week doing what I love to do.
I'm nervous. Nervous out of my mind.
Last time I went on a missions trip I was in a better place than I am at the moment. I'm a fickle human being, always changing.
Thank goodness God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called.
This is going to change my life. I can't wait.
It's funny too that I've always tried to run from my family but now that I'm leaving, I treasure them more every day. It makes me upset I didn't recognize that sooner.
These are just my thoughts written. A hot mess. Nervous? You better believe it. But there is nothing in the entire world like working for the lord. Nothing.
I'm still in shock, to be honest. It hasn't kicked in. I'm going to be in the Dominican republic this time next week doing what I love to do.
I'm nervous. Nervous out of my mind.
Last time I went on a missions trip I was in a better place than I am at the moment. I'm a fickle human being, always changing.
Thank goodness God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called.
This is going to change my life. I can't wait.
It's funny too that I've always tried to run from my family but now that I'm leaving, I treasure them more every day. It makes me upset I didn't recognize that sooner.
These are just my thoughts written. A hot mess. Nervous? You better believe it. But there is nothing in the entire world like working for the lord. Nothing.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Trust
Do I really trust You have better.
Do I really trust that you're in control.
Do I really trust that you're FOR me, not against me.
Do I really trust you, period.
I've forgotten how to trust. Be at peace, give up. I've forgotten how to have faith and being disciplined. Fighting for the truth and seeking what's right.
Mold me, I'm a mess.
Do I really trust that you're in control.
Do I really trust that you're FOR me, not against me.
Do I really trust you, period.
I've forgotten how to trust. Be at peace, give up. I've forgotten how to have faith and being disciplined. Fighting for the truth and seeking what's right.
Mold me, I'm a mess.
Friday, May 11, 2012
The beginning.
Its funny that once you look closely, you can see the beginning of a downfall. I remember the first time my thoughts changed, the first justification, first exception. I molded my life and desires around you.
Now we don't talk, thankfully. You hate my guts, so does she. For what.
Truth be told, you weren't worth it. In the slightest.
Now we don't talk, thankfully. You hate my guts, so does she. For what.
Truth be told, you weren't worth it. In the slightest.
Friday, May 11th. 2012
This is the first post I've written in over 2 years.
I'm a mess, to be honest. I'm a big ol' mess. I've wandered so far, I've forsaken so many. I've been MIA, lost. But you know what?
God hasn't been. He's exactly the same today, tomorrow, and forever. He's not blaming me for my sinful self, rather loving me in the process. He has chosen me from the beginning of time to love him, walk with Him. This is a bump in the road, but that doesn't mean the road ends.
I'm about to embark on a journey to be a missionary intern with Score international in 20 days. God has my future, He holds my heart. I'm scared, I won't lie. I feel so unworthy, I feel useless. Why would I be used for HIS kingdom when I've forsaken it so many times while in the US. I've blatantly said no, I don't want to do Your commands, I don't want to follow you. I choose the world.
Those, right there, are lies. Straight lies. There is NOTHING that separates us from Christ, His love, or His plan. Nothing. We are going to be messy, we are going to fall short. But thank goodness for a Savior who's arms are mighty to save.
Forgiveness. Newness. Love. It's WORTH it. Nothing's better. I promise you, your life will be miserable looking for selfish desires and ambitions. You will be broken, empty, used. There is so much better.
I'm going Home.
I'm a mess, to be honest. I'm a big ol' mess. I've wandered so far, I've forsaken so many. I've been MIA, lost. But you know what?
God hasn't been. He's exactly the same today, tomorrow, and forever. He's not blaming me for my sinful self, rather loving me in the process. He has chosen me from the beginning of time to love him, walk with Him. This is a bump in the road, but that doesn't mean the road ends.
I'm about to embark on a journey to be a missionary intern with Score international in 20 days. God has my future, He holds my heart. I'm scared, I won't lie. I feel so unworthy, I feel useless. Why would I be used for HIS kingdom when I've forsaken it so many times while in the US. I've blatantly said no, I don't want to do Your commands, I don't want to follow you. I choose the world.
Those, right there, are lies. Straight lies. There is NOTHING that separates us from Christ, His love, or His plan. Nothing. We are going to be messy, we are going to fall short. But thank goodness for a Savior who's arms are mighty to save.
Forgiveness. Newness. Love. It's WORTH it. Nothing's better. I promise you, your life will be miserable looking for selfish desires and ambitions. You will be broken, empty, used. There is so much better.
I'm going Home.
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